teresawu:

As expected — Vegas was a literal shitshow.

Things we lost this weekend in Sin City:

• A brand-new tire, which crapped out 45 minutes from Vegas.
• A bottle of vodka, which we dropped near the Grand Canal in the Venetian. SO CLASSY.
• A $100 bill. And not even on a stripper or at the slots!
• Chang’s license and credit card, the latter of which was stolen and swiped for over $500.
• The stability of my two front teeth — they are hanging on by perilous threads. Kidding. They’re not that bad, but let’s just say I emerged from my 21st birthday with a less than symmetrical face.
• ALL OUR DIGNITY. ALLLL OF IT.

Having bore witness to the nightlife in about 10 major cities including NYC, Ayia Napa, Tel Aviv, San Diego, Paris, Las Vegas… I can safely say I haven’t seen very many people who get down like my best friends do. They also win for being good sports throughout the entire weekend of catastrophe. And I resent them only a tiny bit for laughing hysterically as I sobbed on the floor of the hotel lobby with blood gushing from my face.

Finally: Check out the hashtag #twuvegas for some good live-tweet roffles.

We did not laugh hysterically. In fact we were quite concerned… Steph’s and my first thought was, “OMG WE HAVE TO PULL HER DRESS DOWN.” /shrug

Teresa, I love you, happy 21st birthday :)